When you are a soul-tinglingly inspired political author such as myself, you know how important it is to disguise the fact that you are a dogmatic political ideologue. Therefore it is occasionally necessary to make jabs at your ideological fellow-travelers to give the misleading allure of self-criticism and intellectual rigor.
As an anarchist ideologue I’ve always relied on anarchistnews.org, which has been called “4chan for anarchists”, but is in fact is the Internet anarchist equivalent of a McDonalds play-pin when a bunch of kids riding the “special bus” stop in for lunch during a field trip. In other words, bring lots of sawdust to mop up the vomit!
So when I’m writing a brilliant communiqué, I say some shit like “many anarchists in the first world or from socially privileged communities are still stuck in an electronic mass-media spectacle-influenced conception of anarchism, for example, a recent anonymous comment on anarchistnews.org…” and then I segue into some randomly copied-and-pasted piece of stoner verbal diarrhea generatd daily on the festering scab on humanity's asshole known as anarchistnews.org.
When you’re going to college you learn techniques to pad essays while expending the least amount of intellectual energy as possible so that you still have it together to get your game on later that night at the B-Dubs with some smokin’ bitches.
So it is with great disgust that I recently checked anarchistnews.org and found a nauseating update that consisted only of page after page of interesting and somewhat focused articles. The webmasters of anarchistnews.org have pulled some vulgar and offensive shit in the past, but this just crosses the line. Let’s look at some headlines:
“An attempt to report on the situation in France - Mouvement Communiste”
“Indigenous political prisoner Ryan Rainville still behind bars”
“New letter from Panayiotis Masouras”
“UK Police Informant Revealed”
“Another Communique from the movement in France”
“International Days of Action To Drop All Charges against Alexei Gaskarov and Maxim Solopov”
“Workers Don’t Care About Unions”
“New Arrests In Greece”
“New Arrests In Greece”
“A few notes on the appeal trial against the Salento anarchists (Italy)”
“Sabotage of optic fibres and digital cable of France 3 Nord Pas de Calais”
“Modesto: People Hit the Streets as Ex-Cop Details Ongoing Brutality”
C’mon, what is this shit? I wouldn’t even be too embarrassed to waste ink on printing some of this b.s. Stick with your bread and butter, anarchistnews.org! Let me give you some suggestions:
“Meet The Fockers and Benjamin’s The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction”
“Leftist Shits Are Trying to Steal My Jumper Cables”
“Communique From Vandalized Newspaper Box on October 16th”
“I Just Got Really Fucked Up And Decided To Write An Article”
“Could Optimus Prime Beat Up Goku?”
“Queering Your Asshole With a 6”-wide Dolphin Dildo”
“Negate The Social Rupture Like a Motherfucker!”
“Do A Barrel Roll”
“Nietzsche Contra Wagner and the Works of Lady Gaga”
“From Anti-Racist Warrior to Warrior Against Weak and Pathetic White Guilt”
“XXX nude pix of Squat Birth Journal editor Meghan Guthrie XXX”
See, it’s not that fucking hard, people!
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